Pain and Redemption
by LadyJessy
Summary: This is a post-War, post-Endless Waltz fic about how Heero Yuy trys to redeem himself for what he has done in the past. Unusual POV. ANGST.


Author: LadyJessy  
  
Website: http://www.geocities.com/ladyampris  
  
Authors notes: If you liked this story, please read Chasing Away the Loneliness. Both stories are taken from the same idea, but are a different take on what could've happened. This story also won Class Champion in my State Fair. Yea! (  
  
  
  
  
  
Please Review!  
  
  
  
  
  
Pain and Redemption  
  
He took me off the streets. Gave me food and water and warmth. I don't know why. He seemed to think that he knew me. He had a dark, menacing aura about him that made people shiver and cross the street to avoid him. He didn't scare me though. When I first met him, I stood my ground and hurled insults at him, angrily advising him to stay away. I didn't need his charity.  
  
When he stared back, unaffected by my angry tirade, I became enraged and attacked him. However, he didn't run in the face of my wrath, like so many others had. He stood his ground and expertly blocked my assault. Again and again, I came at him and still I could not mark him. If I'd been rational, I would've backed off in respect for a fellow fighter, but I was beyond rational now. My pride was wounded and it demanded compensation.  
  
Finally, I exhausted myself and I lay gasping for air on the asphalt. However, my anger had not abated. In fact, it had grown when I realize that not one of my attacks had hurt him. While I lay out of breath on the cold, hard cement of the alley, he was barely winded. Too tired to do anything else, I just laid there and glared at him.  
  
After awhile, he started talking.  
  
"I understand your pain," he said slowly, sadly. "I knew Kaitlyn too. I'm the reason she's dead today."  
  
My heart stopped at his words. He'd known Kaitlyn?  
  
Then his words began to sink in and I felt an unparalleled rage build up inside me. That bastard was the reason Kaitlyn was dead today? He was the reason Kaitlyn can no longer pick flowers in the park? He is the reason she will no longer laugh and dance under the summer sky?  
  
He is the one that took her from me and stole our future. He is the reason for my pain.  
  
If I could have, I would've attacked him again. Only this time it would not have been to wound, but to kill.  
  
"I'm sorry about what happened," he continued. "It was an accident. I made a mistake and Kaitlyn was the one who suffered from it. I never meant for it to happen. I wasn't supposed to end like that. I've never said this to anyone before-not even my partner, Duo-but . . . I'm sorry."  
  
Then, to my amazement, he began to cry. The cold, unfeeling warrior that had stood before me was gone, leaving in it's place a broken and battered child who had lost his purpose in the world. He dropped to his knees beside me and buried his head in my shoulder. I feel more than hear the long, silent sobs wracked his body. My rage was gone now. The only thing left was that damned emptiness; the one that had followed me around during the years after Kaitlyn's death.  
  
I don't know how long we stayed together like that, but at some point he'd ceased to just touch my body and had somehow touched my soul. A soul that I though had died the day Kaitlyn was killed.  
  
Finally, his tears slowed, and then stopped completely. Lifting his head up to look at me, I saw his face was stained with tears. In his eyes, I could see that his pain over Kaitlyn's death was one that rivaled my own.  
  
"Her sweet innocence haunts me still. Until I met her, I never knew that there could be more to my life than just my mission. You're the only one that could possibly understand. Duo and the others don't. They've done some horrendous things, but then, they grew up differently. Even Duo had a childhood; a time when he could still be innocent and carefree. A time when he was still a child. I, however, have always been a soldier. I don't remember anything before I met Dr. J. He stole my past from me, my childhood, to mold me into world's first child soldier. He experimented on me, giving me longer endurance, sharper sight, acute hearing. I was trained to become a leathal weapon, whose soul purpose was to live for my mission." His eyes hardened at the memory. "You know, the worst part is that I never even knew what I'd been missing until I met Kaitlyn." He paused. ". . . and then I killed her. Somehow, I knew you'd survived, though. I'm not sure how, but I vowed on Kaitlyn's grave that I would find you and take care of you. Make it up to you, if that's even possible. I knew it was you as soon as I saw you. I don't think you remember me, but I'll always remember the day I met Kaitlyn and her puppy that day in the park. You've grown up now. Your fur is not as golden anymore and you have as many battle scars as me now, but I still knew it was you. You had the same pain in you eyes as I do. I know it's probably asking you too much to forgive me, but I'd like the chance. I need you to give me this chance. Maybe, together, the two of us can move on. Maybe we will finally be able to leave the pain behind and life will give us another chance to redeem ourselves. Will you give me that chance? Will you stay with me?"  
  
That night, a haunted boy and a rouge dog decided to leave their feelings of pain, rage, and guilt behind them. Earth was a place of innocence, ideals and peace. There was no place there for two battle a hardened warriors.  
  
Things were still never easy for the two of them as they tried to make a home together on L1. They had little in common and didn't always get along, but still they stayed together. Two kindred spirits bound by their mutual memory of one innocent girl named Kaitlyn. 


End file.
